Like a drug, worse.

I am addicted to this brown, mud-like, sometimes hard, sometimes kind enough to let me dig in seamlessly chocolate (bar) alternative. God im way too obsessed with Nutella to let this slip by without writing about it.
Smooth criminal.

*halili-elissa feat cheb mami
picture-nutel lisa
well, u're much better than nutella =p

Looking back at the road ive trod along
i find myself muffled with your smile
muddy sneakers and the songs we croon
i want the nearness of u on starlit nights
when i realized it, tears well in my eyes
is there anything i can do for you?
i want to impart this feeling to u
but i cant even think of a word
tomorrow we'll be able to smile at each other
for i believe it anytime
on a chilly morning, hot and temperamental
on a rainy day, already accustomed to the constant shower
love more than just plates.

*ecoutez-tunjuk satu bintang
p.s. shuffle the pictures again

Communication blackout

Whenever suggesting ideas or points, indirectly means treating the other person as having an equal stand in a discussion. It flows nicely and neutrally. Otherwise it would connote the idea that we want to argue, its best to avoid touching individual ego in communication. A healthy discussion allows both parties to express their points and ideas equally. Found it more effective to practice open discussion between non-strangers. Ego is like the eye to the soul. When ego is challenged poked at regularly, even if we are wrong, we tend to try and argue to our advantage. It changes the whole attitude and purpose of discussion. Tend to become and turn to offensive. Some truths are painful.

*Trentemoller - Miss You

Not in Gaza

Retracting own words... Received a lot of emails and application requests from Facebook asking to join causes and trying to propagate ideas. What is obvious though not immediately realized is that these people sending stuffs seem to be predominantly anti-Semitic, or at least pointing to religious differences for explanation relating to events in Gaza. All religions support peace. As Muslims, we need to present the message of Islam as a religion, which propagates peace. Death statistics should not become the basis for discrimination, both sides are suffering. There is an ever-present need (even more so in this age where the world is becoming smaller) to turn away from our religio-centric tendencies. Any means of measurement to divide people should not be used to compromise peace. From stone-age times we have yet to find lasting solutions for peace. Individualism is old news. Survival of the fittest can only be achieved through unity. It was never a question of religion, politics are always screwed.

*U2-one
I love the plates.

Sadness and Anguish

Cant help but get caught up in the tide of emotions over whats going on in Gaza... Just watch al-Jazeera. Why on earth are soldiers taking aim at medical personnel? why are UN schools and civilian houses being targeted? Its debilitating really... Hearing families being killed, some leaving the small ones alone. Hamas, Fatah, Middle east and the international community all have roles to play, but i consider it a matter of historical accident with innocent civilians as the major casualties. Palestine attacks, Israel represses, the rest creating bonfires, the cycle continues. Territorial boundaries are a mess. Resolutions are ignored. Do something OPEC, and who cares if US vetoed anything after that. Its now a battle of Karameh.

By the way i think the Godfather was a Jew...
Free Palestine, Free Gaza, Prevent Genocide.
*Hold on - Jet

Press Freedom

"A tiny bud appears in the cold,
a blossom finally dispels all worries,
geniuses praise the beauty of your character,
writers laud your elegant gesture.
delicate and shy, waiting until winter to bloom,
proud and stalwart, even when spring begs you.
brilliant purples and reds,
yet not at a favourable time,
a solitary flower enjoying its own fragrance."

Wei Jingsheng

*Estranged-yang pernah
God, please tell me if have to go, so i can tell her before i go.

Just Statistics Baby

4 Hours it gets for mom and dad to walk all the way from home to Soas college to Stpri
to Gadong past Kiulap and back to Soas College and back home.

17 kilos… weight gained in the past 3 years(size 29 to size 34).

2 52 author’s time attack record for Tsukuba track inbound ID4.

2 45 World time attack record for Tsukuba track inbound ID4.

2.5 Days it took to realize the need for a break from non-stop marathon online
gaming.

1 Time it took for author to realize the need to get things back together after
breakdown (year).

4/5 Size by inches of the cyst in kidney (still).

3 Packets of instant noddles (indomee) that is able to be cramped inside.

8 Average hours of sleep in a good day.

2 Average hours of sleep at physically and mentally testing times.

100 The number of pages needed to complete the academic exercise.

nil Number of times actually went to the toilet inside the Uni’s chancellor hall during
examination.

23 The years involving the person known for the longest time and still in contact
with.

2.5 The longest time in a relationship (years).

48 Hours it takes to realize it could be appendicitis.

8 Time it took for first baby step (months).

8 Total number of spectacles acquired since getting blurry vision.

500 The most number of pictures taken in a single trip.

440 Message count from her so far in less than 2 months.

6 Names or words that reminding of her.

7 Ideal foot size for some people.

150 steps taken from roundabout to chancellor hall.

Infinite number of reasons that remind me of you.

Infinite number of reasons to keep me smiling.

A pocketful of sunshine - the joy u bring!
picture - Kuni and Lisa
*Blink 182 - always

Adrenaline Factor

Love to jog. Physically, it makes a productive day feel complete. Mentally (besides vanity), for it to be able put things into perspective and clear thoughts for the hungry mind. Blame the BAPE pink shirt for making some people feel fat =) Health and vanity, its a good combination!

Thought dawn steps are much more satisfying, runs made after hearing the dusk prayer calls and sun sets up nicely above. Fresh air and humidity levels low, feel grateful to be able to do this. At 5 am its calmingly quiet. Felt that theres one traffic light, which more than often fails to work at this hour.

At 6 am, activities around BSB seems to generate as miss sunshine sets in. Run past, the old man whos always there now waves every now and then, the two ladies always waiting near the bus stop area now smile, the boys with their shuttlecocks and rackets at jubilee Park remind me of the Sidek lads, the ipod-running-kid always seems focused and the birds are getting positively more vocal each day.

Went to the river at Jubilee Park, cant help but be amazed by the flocks of birds resting or nesting at the mangrove trees. Gets most amazing each time the birds take off en masse, especially with beautiful sunset rays reflected on the water and in the background. Gonna visualize them with camera one day.

Art by Leoni Dafremov - She Left
*Al Green - lets stay together

Free Speech in My head.

There will come a time when we will be taxed for breathing. One ounce per dollar =) If that happens, i will be the first to start "pemberontakkan". Once i lose my job I would become a moderate 'terrorist', throw eggs, tomatoes at politicians, or even shoes (new idea, thanks al-Zaidi).

Al-Gore losing to Bush - eliminating those with criminal name, those with Jackson Moore's book. Who becomes the President? Reminds me of Anwar vs Najib. I dont think there would be any differences. McCain win, fundamentalists on both sides, none will be entering dialogues - need to solve differences between the West and Middle East.

All the craze about silicon and botox. They arent new, condoms were made of sheep skin in the past! And wood silicon?

So many things get stuck at the immigration - books, items, wonder if there's such things as 'illegal plants'...

*I want to hold your hand-across the universe OST

Plz understand that i always intended a good outcome everytime we argue and not to make it worse so as we could sleep at ease without...

Remember the year when our country experienced a period of prolonged dry season? Could see then people at Jame Asr' mosque were taking ablutions at the water fountain... Couldnt help but smile thinking of god's wonders.

Life is good. Syukran.

Remembered an incident, fell from a bus an awarded with a fractured arm. Its funny actually, assure you the "life flashes in front of your eyes" thing is true. Well the story begins with the author in the bus and gossiping about stuffs (again!), then when destination was near, readied to come off without realizing bus was still moving...

The door opened and u guessed what happen. Was like a footage from a Bollywood movie, author was rolling a couple of times and (thank god!), like a footage from a Bollywood movie, author was still alive. Was lying on the floor, head inches from the moving tires of the bus. Composed self and sat for god-knows-how-long on the (luckily) empty road. It was at this period when author experienced "life flashes in front of your eyes" thingy.

Regained senses and composure after two road sweepers called, panic written all over their face. After saying author was alright, author smiled. Ended with all three having a good laugh. Walked home to a surprised mom - uniform shirt no longer resembling one, minor cuts all over, and a i-am-ok-smile. Hehe.

Had a cast next day but still had the mood playing monopoly with brother. Now remembered it was in the fasting month. Chillax!

Moral of the story - Do not waste water. =p

Picture - bleeding hearts. Trims Panda.
* Robert miles - children

Opinion Page Column Borneo Bulletin

Three hours am, three hours pm, minutes in bed and ur wondering why im acting like a guy having his period? hahaha.

Would never subscribe to opinions made against kids without taking into consideration of the roots of their behaviour. Laws against kids dressing inappropriately? Parents should have noticed the moment kids are outside home. Finding bugs where there isnt.

But do think introducing fines for messing the beaches a good idea. Singapore seems clean without it gums. Ahh Mr moody should continue with rumblings next time. hehe.

Twilight is for fans. A good read anyways.

*Decode-paramore
Location-bag of many zips in her bag.

M. E. N. T. E. L. A. A. H.

"Tips for dealing with exam stress

Plan your time
Draw up a realistic revision schedule and stick to it. Include some time for relaxation — it's not healthy to constantly have your nose in a book. To maximise your concentration, break up your time into 15-minute segments, interspersed by five-minute breaks. Knowing that you have a break coming up helps to prevent you from losing interest completely.

Don't be unrealistic
You've spent most of your life at school, and you have a good idea of what you're capable of. If you're an average student, you're unlikely to suddenly jump to the top of the class. Being realistic will help prevent you (and your parents!) from being disappointed when the results come in. The key thing is to do your best.

Avoid sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll (but especially drugs)
Anything that can give you a high will eventually give you a low. Don't try to deal with your stress by turning to alcohol or recreational drugs — apart from anything else, you need all the memory you can get right now! Try not to drink too much coffee either — the caffeine won't help you to concentrate. Drinking plenty of water will keep you hydrated and your brain functioning at its best.

Revise methodically
Simply reading long swathes of text is not going to help you to remember facts and figures. Write out important dates, facts or passages, use lots of coloured pens and underline key phrases. Go back over these notes a day later, and then a week after that. Your memory will be better and you will feel more confident about your exams.

Test yourself
Test yourself or get someone to test you on your notes. Bribe a brother or sister to do it for you, or ask your parents. Testing yourself regularly means that you remember facts better and any gaps in your knowledge can be picked up in good time — making the actual exam a lot less stressful.

Stick notes around your house
Buy cardboard stars in bright colours from newsagents, or make some out of card. Write key facts and phrases on each and stick them around your bedroom (preferably on items where they won't leave a mark!) in places where you'll often see them, for example, on your mirror or inside a cupboard that you often open. After a while, these facts will sink in without any extra effort on your part.

Ignore your friends
Not entirely, of course! But when your mates say how much revision they've been doing, they might not be telling the truth. Don't use them as a benchmark — they might not want to seem daggy for doing lots of revision, or they might not be doing enough. Know yourself and know what you have to do — you're in this for yourself.

Ask for help
There are great sources of support available if you feel that you need it. Ask a teacher if you don't understand a particular topic now that you're revisiting it — it doesn't have to the one who taught you if you don't feel that they're good at explaining things to you. School counsellors and even good old mum and dad are also great for getting worries "off your chest". You're not alone, so don't feel that you have to be.

Have a fall-back plan
Okay, so maybe you want to go and study at Harvard, become a top brain surgeon and also have a simultaneous career in tap-dancing BUT, however achievable these goals might be, make sure you have a Plan B. For example, if you don't make your grades, you could consider not going to uni for a year and retaking your exams. Or you might decide to go to a different uni, or just not bother at all. Working out at least a vague idea of what you want to do in life will help you to come up with a fall-back plan (or even two).

Get some exercise
Exercise is a great way to give yourself a break and to max out your concentration span. You don't have to do hours of circuit training — a 15-minute jog or a brisk walk will do the job nicely."

source:http://health.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=20569

Time feels short all the time when under pressure. The truth is if u can FB for hours, u can do the same for revising... haha... Don't think lying on the bed helps either. Used to on the lights, hoping that it could help body to stay awake when taking short dreams (naps), which is indeed a proven fallacy. Rather struggle and stay awake till everything's done or mind is satisfied.

Taking prayers or ablutions help as well. Spiritual strength translates well for the physical endurance. Just Youtube David Blaine - its all in the mind. Heard that coffee and siggies dont work well together though =)

Different strategies work differently for differently people, its best to be prepared and stick with whats good for us. Greatluck to everyone. Burning the midnight kerosene/petrol/cooking oil. Haha.

"U can do what u set ur mind to man."-Marshall mathers


*Sade-sweetest taboo
Pantai Berakas

Take everything from the inside

Is home an elitist country? I think development is going at the right pace. I won't touch on politics but i think home has more space to improve on specific matters. The problem is that not everyone is willing to take the blame, to admit that they are imperfect, to accept criticisms and such. Lucky no people are dead from falling windows. I like the american education system better that the British system we have. I believe in learning not just obtaining grades.

We need someone who can take the heat, I think the new VC is a fighter, see how it goes. I don't think its that difficult. Just go with changes and don't be afraid to listen to criticisms as they should be treated constructively to be understood. Only when u listen can u then act with purpose. When everyone tries to be perfect than progress is made difficult. Islam propagates us to always be grateful but this should not be a reason for us to stop striving for improvements.

Muhasabah-criticisms are part of life. We should be more open to changes (good ones). Nothing is perfect. That is why god created heaven and hell. If everyone went to heaven, what would life mean? As Miss keys said, hand me a world on a silver platter, and what good would it bring? Allsaidanddone, home has little population to go with its development goals. Maybe home needs 'more-child-incentive'. We don't need more malls or buildings, we just need to improve with what we have. Keep our scholars and the educated, we need them. That said, they deserve to be treated like they should to keep them here.



Nuff said.
location: Kuching, sarawak-sri srinivasagar kaliamman temple
*Extreme-more than words.

The cliques I stick by...

- Even I realize its foolish to scratch a tiger's ass.
- Once u've squatted at the outhouse you know what colour shit is.
- I've not done anything good, but that everything I've have done is not wrong.
- opinions are basically alike on most matters, its only when people try to second guess each other
that problems arise.
- if you don't listen to reason there's no need for me to be reasonable.
- rumors from the near truth is better than rumors from lies itself.
- lies repeated a thousand times become truth.
- before you can change the world you must understand it.


*John Mayer-No such thing

Why It Is Hard For Men To Approach Women

1) Because women are always surrounded with their friends.
2) Women tend to avoid even those they are attracted to.
3) We are afraid the girl might slap us. Siao meh.
4) Who wants to get rejected? Yea, talking like an ego bastard.
5) Afraid that the person is already in a relationship.
6) Receiving the wrong signals.
7) Can't deny we are naturally egoistic creatures.
8) Not all of us are studs or suave.
9) self conscious. Sometimes we can be image conscious freaks, talk bout inferiority complex!
10) language barrier or communication breakdown.
11) First impression disaster.
12) Don't know where to start.
13) Competition drowns some men.
14) men run out of ideas sometime - what school? work oredi? then straight - single? haha
15) I don't have 5c's


ANTM - the only one i supported.
*music-while watching U've got mailed.

I Miss Gaming

Its been while since I've done any serious gaming (involving days and pop mee), just checking around for any good runs and narrow down the list to these games with great potential:

1) spore - security issues online


2) starcraft 2 (hopefully not a dead project, again...)


3) Red Alert 3 - behold! transformers!


4) Farcry 2 - damn good FPS - physics, graphics, weather dynamics..

*paparoach-lovehatetragedy

Smileys

One infectious smile,
although distance almost a mile,
turn away staring is rude,
im swept away, i wish i could...

wait oh wait, don't look back,
but how can i see what's behind my back...
just an eye so seductive,
making me act oh so compulsive!

One infectious smile,
making my imagination go wild,
gladly take another glance,
again just to see her smile!



location-Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei Darussalam, during perayaan.
p.s. Love is many crazy things!
*Ari lasso feat bunga cinta lestari-aku dan dirimu

nonchalantly

All I see

Drifting through my veins

Want to know where it all began

I see your face everywhere I turn

Now Im left, eternally to bow

Eternally to...

When you're on your own

Killing time
Wanna make it right

Make it...

Nothing ventured nothing gained

Seems all the world has gone insane

All said and done

We are heading straight towards the sun

Nothing ventured nothing said

Seems all the words drift from my head

Its sad to say
But we are heading straight towards the sun

All I feel

Crawls across my skin

Breaking through

Slowly sinking in

And I cant find what youre looking for

Nothings left

Nothings left at all

Nothings left at...

When youre on your own

Killing timeWanna make it right

Make it...

Nothing ventured nothing gained

Seems all the world has gone insane

Its sad to say

But we are heading straight towards the sun

Nothing ventured nothing said

Seems all the words drift from my head

All said and done

But we are heading straight towards the sun
I dont know where we went wrong

Cos its been going on too long

We used to live inside the breeze

But now I find it hard to breathe

Wanna make it right

Make it...

Nothing ventured nothing gained

Seems all the world has gone insane

Its sad to say
But we are heading straight towards the sun

Nothing ventured nothing said

And all the words drift from my head

All said and done

But we are heading straight towards the sun

Newton faulkner-straight towards the sun

Telisai beach, my fav beach so far in Brunei... Quite clean and serene at times too... Felt so comfortable there. Maybe had too many things in the head, but here, everything felt so far away..

I don't quite understand the idea of forgetting our past, forget our scars.. what i do know is that if we want to avoid getting more scars, we have to know where the last ones came from.. this i think is still the best cure..

Nuff said already.. Cheers!
Dayang Nurfaizah-relakan pemergianku

coldplay-the scientist